Step 5: Confession, Courage & the Healing Power of Being Known

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

— From the 12 Steps

Step 4 asks us to look inward.

Step 5 asks us to let someone else in.

This is the moment many people fear the most — the moment when the inventory is no longer private, no longer controlled, no longer tucked safely away in a notebook or in the quiet corners of our minds.

Step 5 is the moment truth becomes shared.

And shared truth is healing truth.

Why Step 5 Feels So Hard

Addiction taught us to hide.

To manage appearances.

To control the narrative.

To keep secrets at all costs.

So when recovery asks us to speak out loud the very things we’ve spent years burying, it feels terrifying.

Many people think Step 5 is about exposing their worst self.

It’s not.

Step 5 is about bringing your whole self into the light where grace can finally do its work.

You cannot heal from what you’re still hiding.

Confession Is Not Condemnation

In Scripture, confession is never about humiliation.

It is always about restoration.

John writes:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us… and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

— 1 John 1:9

Confession is not a performance.

It’s not a courtroom.

It’s not a punishment.

Confession is the place where honesty meets mercy.

Step 5 echoes that truth:

bring everything into the open —

not to be crushed by it,

but to be freed from it.

Why Step 5 Is Done with Another Person

Couldn’t we just confess to God and skip the human part?

The steps say no — and for a very good reason.

Addiction isolated us.

Recovery reconnects us.

Speaking Step 5 to another person:

• breaks the power of shame

• dismantles denial

• builds humility

• strengthens accountability

• teaches vulnerability

• forms genuine connection

• invites compassion

• restores dignity

We heal in community.

We grow in community.

And yes — we confess in community.

Someone else’s presence makes the truth survivable.

The Exact Nature of Our Wrongs

Notice the language.

Step 5 doesn’t ask for dramatic storytelling.

It doesn’t ask for theatrics or emotional grandeur.

It doesn’t ask for generalized apologies or vague admissions.

It asks for the exact nature:

• the pattern

• the motive

• the resentment

• the fear

• the harm done

• the character defects exposed

• the truth beneath the behavior

Exactness creates clarity.

Clarity creates humility.

Humility creates transformation.

God Meets Us in the Telling

Confession to God is not for God’s information.

It’s for our liberation.

When we speak the truth, grace rushes in.

David understood this intimately:

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away…

Then I acknowledged my sin to You…

and You forgave the guilt of my sin.”

— Psalm 32:3–5

Keeping silent drains us.

Speaking truth frees us.

Step 5 is where the guilt we’ve carried for years finally breaks open —

not into despair, but into freedom.

What Step 5 Looks Like Spiritually

Spiritual Step 5 looks like:

• opening a door you’ve always kept locked

• sitting in the presence of someone who doesn’t run

• letting God shine light into the dusty corners

• hearing the words “you are not alone”

• discovering that you are more than your worst moment

Step 5 is not about your shame.

It’s about your healing.

It is one of the most humbling and holy moments in recovery.

What Step 5 Is Preparing Us For

Step 5 is not an endpoint.

It’s preparation:

• for the character work of Steps 6 & 7

• for the amends of Steps 8 & 9

• for the freedom of Steps 10–12

Step 5 clears the ground.

Now the rebuilding can begin.

Reflection Questions

1. What part of Step 5 scares you the most — being honest with yourself, with God, or with another person?

2. Who feels safe and trustworthy enough to hear your inventory?

3. How has secrecy harmed your life — and how might honesty set you free?

4. Where can you sense God inviting you to surrender shame and embrace grace?

A Step 5 Prayer

God, give me courage to speak the truth.

Help me trust that You already know every part of my story

and love me still.

Guide me to the right person to hear my inventory.

Sit with me in the fear,

strengthen me in the honesty,

and cover me in grace as I speak.

Let today be a day of release,

not shame —

of healing,

not hiding.

Amen.