Step 3: Turning Our Will Over to God — The Surrender That Sets Us Free

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

— From the 12 Steps

Step 1 cracks the illusion of control.

Step 2 sparks a glimmer of hope.

Step 3 is where hope becomes a choice.

It is not a feeling.

It is not a burst of inspiration.

It is not a spiritual high.

Step 3 is a decision — an act of surrender that says:

“I trust God more than I trust my old patterns, my old thinking, and my old ways of coping.”

For many of us, that is the bravest decision we ever make.

What Step 3 Is — and What It Isn’t

Step 3 does not mean:

• everything will suddenly be easy

• cravings will disappear

• we will instantly feel spiritual

• God will do the work while we sit back

Turning your will over to God does not mean handing God a mess and expecting Him to magically clean it up.

Step 3 means this:

“I will stop relying on myself and start relying on God — one day at a time — and I will show that trust through action.”

Action like:

• showing up for meetings

• telling the truth

• working with a sponsor

• taking inventory

• making amends

• praying even when you don’t feel anything

• doing the next right thing

Step 3 is not passive.

Step 3 is partnership.

Letting Go of Our Will: The Hardest Part

For addicts of all kinds — alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, sex, food, spending, codependency — the deepest addiction underneath the addiction is the addiction to control.

We wanted life on our terms.

We wanted emotions on our terms.

We wanted pain to go away on our terms.

That illusion kept us sick.

Step 3 asks us to lay down the one thing that kept us trapped:

Our will.

And let’s be honest — that surrender doesn’t happen effortlessly.

Some days we hand our will to God at 9 a.m. and take it back by 11.

That’s OK.

Step 3 is practiced, not perfected.

Turning Your Life Over to “the Care of God”

Notice the language:

not the anger of God

not the judgment of God

not the disappointment of God

but the care of God.

Step 3 isn’t about terrifying consequences.

It’s about tender belonging.

This is a God who restores, not condemns.

A God who heals, not humiliates.

A God who welcomes, not rejects.

A God who runs toward prodigals and sits with the ashamed.

This is not surrender to punishment —

this is surrender to love.

Scripture and Step 3: A Shared Truth

Scripture speaks the same language as Step 3:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.”

— Proverbs 3:5

and:

“In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.”

— Proverbs 3:6

and Jesus’ own invitation:

“Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

— Matthew 16:25

Spiritual surrender is not losing your life —

it’s letting God restore it.

Why Step 3 Matters for Long-Term Recovery

When we rely only on ourselves:

• we make decisions out of fear

• we isolate

• we fall back into old patterns

• we choose relief over healing

• we hide when we need help

But when we turn our will and our life over to God:

• decisions become clearer

• shame becomes smaller

• honesty becomes easier

• community becomes safer

• growth becomes possible

Step 3 is the hinge that connects belief (Step 2) to action (Steps 4–12).

It’s where recovery stops being a concept and becomes a way of living.

What Step 3 Looks Like Today — Not Forever, Just Today

You don’t turn your life over to God forever.

Not in one grand gesture.

You do it today.

That’s the secret.

Turn your will over this morning.

Turn your life over this afternoon.

Turn your cravings over tonight.

One day at a time.

One decision at a time.

One step at a time.

Reflection Questions

1. What part of your will is hardest to surrender — emotions, decisions, relationships, control?

2. What small act of trust can you practice today?

3. Does the word “care” in Step 3 change how you understand surrender?

4. What does relying on God — instead of yourself — look like in this season?

A Step 3 Prayer

God, today I make a decision —

not based on feelings,

not based on strength,

but based on trust.

I turn my will over to You.

I turn my life over to You.

Guide my thoughts.

Shape my choices.

Give me courage to follow where You lead.

I surrender this day to Your care,

one moment at a time.

Amen.